I woke up in a great mood today – I had a dream about our group of “women on wine” that was SO real. You know how dreams can be – and of course this one reflected some of the things we discussed Friday evening at our last wine/margarita/gin and tonic/coffee/martini get together. I won’t go into all that here, but here’s the main thing I remembered from the dream upon waking:
We were all together somewhere and were discussing the notion that “we are onto something here” with this group and blog, and I said (in the dream), “NO – we REALLY are onto something here. I am actually feeling happy and content in my life because of this group and what we are doing!” And at that moment in the dream, I REALLY did FEEL that way. In the dream, my life seemed so simple, I had cleared out alot of the “stuff”, and was doing something like making jewelry or painting, or god knows what.
Now, you all don’t know me very well yet, but in reality, I have a pretty complicated life. I have nearly always been a person who does a lot, worries and thinks too much, and thinks she is never as far or as effective as she should be. My mother lives with us, I have that 13 year old, and have two businesses that are pretty new and do not yet support us fully. Sometimes, I have experienced depressed feelings about all this, and I am not generally in touch with the blissful, content part of myself on a day to day basis. It was REALLY nice to have that experience so clearly – even if it was in a dream state.
Fast forward to later on the day, and I arrive at the Spa to get some work done in my office in calm and quiet, and one of the therapists tells me she now wants to only work every other Saturday. We have had such a struggle getting good people, and this leaves us definitely short, since another one of our massage goddesses still has a hurt finger. Depressed, worried, even angry feelings crashed down just like that. Talk about mood swings. Thought track in my head: “Maybe we should just get out of this business. Why is this so hard. Why do I make it so hard? Is this a message? Or am I just over-reacting?” You get the idea.
So I went out for a drive. I am back now, and decided to do therapy by sharing, so here I am. I will also do therapy by getting some work done, which will allow me to check off some things on the good old “to do” list, which always makes me feel better, too. I also am aware that hormones may be at play here, as I have been having hot flashes again for about the past week, so will dring lots of water and try to eat healthy for the next few days (and be sure to use that progesterone cream!)
Anyhow, not sure what the entire message is here, but I do know that my inner mind is telling me what I am doing here with these women is good for me. And that there’s some simplifying I need to do. And getting to have the actual feeling of contentment to remind me how it is was great. Now to get some more of that each and every day!
Thanks to you all!