For the last few days, I have been trying to resurrect a meditation practice. I know I feel better when I give myself quiet time and attempt to just stay in the moment, breathing, listening to meditation music or just watching my mind. It is amazing how many excuses I can find to not sit for 10-15 minutes. It isn’t like I don’t waste 10-15 minutes regularly doing all sorts of less productive things but somehow the resistance to sitting quietly is huge.
The resistance is coming at me from all directions. My own excuses and the outside world.
- I say I’m going to meditate after I take the dog for walk. But then when I get home I find all sorts of important things that need to get done first. Soon the day is gone and I’ve done a lot of things but not the practice that I committed to.
- I sit down to meditate and not more than 3 minutes into my time, the doorbell rings. It is the letter carrier with a package I need to sign for.
- Sadie decides that something is really wrong in the back yard and starts barking the “get out of my yard” bark, which normally means the meter reader for the gas company is trying to do his job or perhaps a dog is walking down the alley next to the yard. But I have to get up and check it out because I don’t want her pepper sprayed by the Meter Guy or Gal.
- I sit down to meditate and within the course of 15 minutes, every phone line in the house decides it have to ring–home, cell, business and fax –all demanding attention. Even if I ignore them and go back to breathing, it really makes me laugh that none of these lines have rung in the 4 hours before I sat down to meditate.
So what is this meditation interruptus–some sort of cosmic test? The universe wants me to practice returning my attention after the interruptions? It is hard enough to get myself started–could we hold off on the tests for a couple of weeks? Guess not.
Getting mad at myself for not being able to ignore the interruptions is counter-productive to the peace I am trying to create. So I set a new intention just to show up and deal with whatever the universe throws my way. Guess that’s why they call it a “meditation practice.” I keep repeating, “peace and calm” to myself. Maybe one day it will really be true! LOL!