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Archive for the ‘Mirror Mirror on the Wall’ Category

When the Hub asks if I want him to bring the laptop into the bedroom where I’ve been knocking on death’s door for a few days, and I say no.  Twice.  Knowing what an addict I am and yet I was still willing to pass up the opportunity to peruse the internet uninterrupted for as long as I wanted – that, my friends, is SICK.  Ugh.

Slightly better now 🙂

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Well, that’s it everyone…I have come to the completion of my fitness challenge at A Private Fitness Studio – check out www.aprivatefitnessstudio.com

I actually came into the game a week late – so I have a total of 7 weeks completed – 3 times a week with my trainer, Cal.   Not too bad for a self proclaimed lazy girl that used to say “I don’t run unless I’m being chased.”

It has been an eye opening experience for me and today was no different.  I have come to realize the amount of empty calories that I put into my mouth on a day to day basis and I am so proud that I have changed my wily ways for the better.

Not too recently, but still the same – I was an addict – truly – A Quarter Pounder with Cheese Junkie…sometimes would get that and oh, say a side of Chick’n Nuggets too.  Which, by the way, if you pull them apart, do not resemble ANYTHING close to poultry.  I stopped eating fast food about 6 years ago after reading Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser.  It made me physically ill to think about anything from these Chains From Hell…what nailed the coffin shut for me even tighter was watching SuperSize Me – bleck.  I haven’t touched the stuff since…outside the night that Michelle tried to make me eat Burger King after a bit of a heavy night at our old haunt in Denver, Nallen’s Irish Pub – 3 years ago…even then it disgusted me.    I am on a crusade  – but if you saw Fast Food Nation – then you saw the end of the movie – those fries didn’t CHANGE AT ALL after 6 weeks in a glass jar…imagine what that horribly processed icky food looks like in your stomach and intestines…

Sorry – I’m on a soap box, but it is common sense to step away from the fast food and try to put better eating into practice.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I am still eating all the wrong things, but not ALL the time…I don’t make excuses anymore that I don’t have the time to make myself a decent lunch or dinner…and if I do go out to eat, I truly try try try to limit my portions more than ever before.  I have found that after 35, the ol’ “pooch” (stomach) doesn’t go away like it used to…it requires constant attention and whaddya know?  It requires working out…So back to the fitness challenge – I thought to myself…I will do this stupid challenge, but I won’t like it…Kicking and screaming (in my head) the whole way about the cardio and the not eating carbs after 4 PM as recommended by Cal.

But I’ll be damned if he wasn’t right – with a little perserverance and some positive thinking, I actually have lost 8.5 inches total in the last 7 weeks – with 4 of that being around my waist!  And the remainder my shoulders, hips and neck…UNBELIEVABLE…

And if I weren’t so freaked out about the non meat used at McDonalds – I would probably go celebrate with a Double (QPw/C)!  😉

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Curves Ahead

I’ve joined Curves so I’ll have the energy to eat more. 

I went for the first time a few days ago and LOVED it!  These are my people.  There is no room for confusion or even thinking really, which is perfect for me.  And you can chat while you work out – if only we could eat and shop at the same time I’d think I’d died & gone to heaven.

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I often look in the mirror and do not see what others see.  It is a very strange phenomenon that affects me everyday.  Strange as it may sound I cannot see it.  A little background I used to be double my size – I went from a size 16 to a size 8.  I know it really is me and I did accomplish this major weight loss because the label on the inside of my “Lucky Jeans” say so and  a couple pairs even say size 6. 

What I was not prepared for in my weight loss journey was the mental baggage that I still carry.  I look in the mirror and I do not see the transformation like I have been told I should see.  I am sure a therapist would have a field day with this.  Hmmm would they tell me I am insecure – suppressing true feelings – denial – who knows.   I know there is baggage as when I would come home from College for breaks I remember my Mother saying: “Hi Honey – You look fat”  Wow that was a greeting like no other.  Or my other favorite was I got an A – in a class and she would say:  Well that is not an A.   I am sure it was little comments like those that play continue over and over in my head. 

The one thing that I do know is that for the first time when I do look in the mirror regardless of my weight I “finally” like what I see – I am sure it is because in recent years I have found healthy supportive relationships – Faith – Love – Laughter and Fun.    I am learning that old cliche of beauty comes from within is very true.  The other extension of that is that if you really feel it you start to live it….   I am 41 and in a strange way feel better – younger – stronger now than at any other time in my life.

Now if I could just break that damn mirror and see the way that I feel…… This struggle is a journey and a process and I am ok with that.  Well back to work!!!

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In my opinion – mirrors are like hypnotists.  You should never look them directly in the eye.  Because if you do, something BAD might happen.

We all have those days when you know you look like you’ve been working on a pig farm for about a month with no running water.  But you have no time or energy or natural ability to fix yourself up.  Or even shower.  So you put a brave face on it and put your hair in a bun which you imagine to yourself looks windblown and carefree, but know deep down that it really looks like Phyllis Diller on ruffies.  And you throw your gym clothes on and pretend to be on the way to/from the gym all day long.  Make-up.  Nah.  Jewelry.  Nah.  Clean underwear.  Hmmmm.

Well, every once in a while I have those kind of days.  And inevitably, I see my mother-in-law, Barbara, on those days.   Now, I love my mother-in-law.  Really.  I do.  She and my father-in-law came here from Greece many years ago and they have led an amazing life.  However, she’s not what you would call, er, evolved.  If you’ve seen the movie ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ I’m here to tell you that NOTHING in that movie was exaggerated.  It’s real, baby.   So Barbara, or Babs as we affectionately call her, is now 72 years old.  She is strong as an ox and until recently still shoveled snow and mowed her own lawn.  She has leg muscles that would make Ahnold envious and has a tendency to get me in a head lock when she wants to give me a kiss.  She favors old sweat pants and men’s shirts (t-shirts, sweat shirts or button ups) as long as they are black, brown or navy.  I think the only time I’ve seen her in makeup was at our wedding (that’s a post for another time, but you’ll enjoy it, I promise.)  I’d catagorize her as ‘natural.’   Not a fashionista.  Until it comes to me.  For some reason she feels it’s her duty to call to my attention that I’m not having a good day.  This mostly involves my hair, which for those of you who know, I change frequently.  It’s currently short and blonde, but it has been every other color and length under the sun.  Some of those were successful and others, not.  But through it all, the one constant that I can count on, is that Babs will tell me when it’s not.  ‘LEENDA, I tell you true.  You don’t look so good with your hair dark (or long, or light or red or short.)’   Sometimes it involves my clothes.  ‘LEENDA, you’re wearing that?’  ‘Yes.’  ‘WHYYY?’  So then I second guess myself and go change.  ‘Oh yes, I think this is much better.’  Perhaps she is a closet ‘Vogue’ reader and we’ve just never known. 

As I said earlier, my hair is currently blonde and short.  The first time she saw it, she loved it.  But she couldn’t just say something nice and leave it at that.  She opened her mouth and the words started to come out, ‘Yes, looks better.  Because before . . .”  And I tried to stop her.  ‘Barbara, don’t say it.  I know what you’re going to say, and please don’t say it!’  ‘But before, it’s no good.’  There.  It was out.  I may as well have been trying to hold back the tide.  So this time I asked her why she had to tell me I didn’t look good.  She was very hurt and said ‘Because I love you, that’s why I need to tell you.’  

How can I argue with that?

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Author – Jody Flood

I have decided to make a healthy start in my life this year.  I am working out with a personal trainer and it is really doing a number on my head.  I didn’t realize how emotional I would become about the process of fitness…

Originally, I wrote down that I wanted to weigh 160-165 by July 15th – that’s my “fighting weight” so to speak.  I only say this, so that I can preface the emotional part of the process…I have been training for approximately 5 weeks at A Private Fitness Studio in Santa Clarita, CA – www.aprivatefitnessstudio.com – Cal, my trainer, weighed me, did my body fat, did all my measurements on Day 1 and then did a check with me at the beginning of this week…

I stressed over the figures last weekend to the point of obsession…I knew that I hadn’t done all my extra cardio – I knew that I had eaten larger portions than I vowed to do and the guilt…ah, the guilt…washed over me like acid rain. 

Anyhow, Monday a.m. came and I walked into the fitness studio, with a funeral dirge playing in my own head.  I removed my shoes and stood on the scale and glanced downward.   In shock and horror, I couldn’t believe my eyes – I had actually stayed the same!

Now, I know that we are all much more educated these days about fitness – weight loss – etc…but the hard reality hurt my feelings of “all the hard work” I was putting in, all the “sacrifices” I was making (getting up at the crack of dawn, not eating bad carbs after 4 PM, doing CARDIO – ICK).

Then he pulled out the tape measure and begin to do my neck…pencil to paper…and an “uh-huh” uttered from him…on to my shoulders…his eyebrows raise…sliding down to my waist…YIKES, and further on down.

The GREAT news is that I have lost a total of 2.5 inches!!!  And it is from the most important parts – shoulders, waist & hips!

I am thrilled with that and have vowed to go back to my goal board and change the WEIGHT part to a specific Dress Size instead…what a JOY!

j~

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