I admit it. I am a plant killer. I did not inherit my mom or dad’s green thumb. I guess it is not in the DNA. The only plants that manage to stay alive in my house are the philodendron in the kitchen and a few cacti. Otherwise in a month or so in the house, it’s gone.
People give me plants as a gift and I know they are not going to see the lovely plant they gave me when they visit the next time. A friend gave me an orchid for Christmas. I started to sweat, this was too much pressure. I kill plants that don’t need a lot of tending. What the heck was I going to do to an orchid? Yep you guessed it lasted two months before I killed it which was actually better than I thought I’d do. I snuck out to the garbage in the dead of night deposing of its dried vine when no one could witness my inadequacy.
I try. I say I’m going to do better but then life takes over and one day I look and the plant is gasping for water. Then I overwater to make up for it–soon another dead plant.
Fortunately my dog will come up and look at me and lick her lips when she needs water. And if I ignore her she’ll put her paw on my lap and start to talk as she walks over to the water bowl. The plants can’t talk to me and I am oblivious until it is too late.
I was at Home Depot the other day returning some extra supplies that I had bought to fix the tile in my kitchen. (I am handy in other ways!) And in front of me was this man returning 3 dead plants. Yes, Home Depot is lets you return plants you’ve killed within a year as long as you have a receipt. But is it fair for a plant killer to buy plants that could go to a good home and flourish because I know that I could get my money back if I fail? I’m not sure I could stand the guilt or the possible censure of the cashier and she looked at me and thought, “oh another plant killer!”
Fortunately, I have other talents but a green thumb isn’t one of them!